I am a WHISKY-SWILLING, KILT-WEARING SCOTSMAN who spends his life pursuing misfortune for the sake of a good story. Whether it be huntinglandmines in my ŠKODA in Croatia, visiting the Romanian dentist, dining on goat brain in the cave of a WEIRD, ONE-EYED OLD LADY in Turkey, or being cursed by a man with gold teeth in Ukraine, my experiences in 43 COUNTRIES, I can promise, are entirely true.
In fact, short of SERIOUS INJURY, DEATH, or ALIENABDUCTION, anything that could have gone wrong for me, has - and I LOVE it.
WHOA! BATTING ON THE BOSPHORUS: A LIQUOR-FUELED CRICKET TOUR THROUGH EASTERN EUROPE has just launched in the US and Canada! Also out in the UK, Ireland, India, Australia and New Zealand now! And in South Africa, Namibia and Botswana as Batting In The Baltic! If you're looking for a travel-cricket book on Eastern Europe, with PARANORMAL elements, Batting on the Bosphorus is probably the book for you.
A PSYCHIC said the GHOST OF MY GREAT-UNCLE is following me around, putting ideas in my head. So, the book is kind of co-written. CHECK OUT more info on BATTING ON THE BOSPHORUS HERE.
"HILARIOUS!" Globe and MailCLICK HERE to read the full review!
I’m continuing to build the life of a MEDIA SLUT (without the cocaine). Having lost my job in Glasgow's most notorious METHADONE clinic, where I ran the switchboard and sold onions, oranges and babymilk to SHELL-SUITEDMANBEATERS, I've moved to Montreal, where I work as a chocolatier-cum-cricket coach. No jokes about Oompah-Loompahs, please.
I do miss the methadone clinic. On my first day the doctor said I needed a HEPATITISINJECTION in case a patient BIT ME.
I graduated with a 1st-Class Honours in English Writing, Environmental Philosophy, FLYINGSAUCERS and SPACESTUDIES in 2003, after a long sentence in DEEPEST, DARKEST MINING-VALLEY WALES. I doubt I would have made it, but for the escape of the century, fleeing a landlordlawsuit to enjoy an EU-sponsored skiing holiday in the French Alps for a semester.
I've written for The South African Sunday Times, the US Student Traveler,Australia's Inside Sport,The Wisden Cricketer, Wisden Almanack, All Out Cricket, India's Cricinfo, The Scottish Cricketer, Matrix and Menz magazines in the US and Canada. Co-hosted Menz radio on Montréal's Team990, appeared on BBC WORLD TV, NPR, Voice of America, BBC London, Cape Talk, Classic FM and TalkRadio702 South Africa, Metro Radio, CBC Radio Canada, CTV News Canada, M6 TV France, BBC World Service, and various random Finnish and Balkan radio and TV shows.
I've worked as a gardener in ROMANIA, begged in BULGARIA, exchanged dollars on the streets of UKRAINE, interned for the MONTREAL MAFIA, smuggled alcohol from BELARUS, and regularly participate in PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTS FOR CASH. I was recently fired as a door-to-door salesman. I'm looking to use my experience from the chocolate factory and BAKE CAKESTO SELL on the street. Incidentally, if you are interested in buying some of these cakes, please get in touch through the Contact/Feed Me page.
I am a WHISKY-SWILLING, KILT-WEARING SCOTSMAN who spends his life pursuing misfortune for the sake of a good story. Whether it be hunting landmines in my ŠKODA in Croatia, visiting the Romanian dentist, dining on goat brain in the cave of a WEIRD, ONE-EYED OLD LADY in Turkey, or being cursed by a man with gold teeth in Ukraine, my experiences in 43 COUNTRIES, I can promise, are entirely true. 
I’m continuing to build the life of a MEDIA SLUT (without the cocaine). Having lost my job in Glasgow's most notorious METHADONE clinic, where I ran the switchboard and sold onions, oranges and babymilk to SHELL-SUITED MANBEATERS, I've moved to Montreal, where I work as a chocolatier-cum-cricket coach. No jokes about Oompah-Loompahs, please.
I've written for The South African Sunday Times, the US Student Traveler, Australia's Inside Sport, The Wisden Cricketer, Wisden Almanack, All Out Cricket, India's Cricinfo, The Scottish Cricketer, Matrix and Menz magazines in the US and Canada. Co-hosted Menz radio on Montréal's Team990, appeared on BBC WORLD TV, NPR, Voice of America, BBC London, Cape Talk, Classic FM and TalkRadio702 South Africa, Metro Radio, CBC Radio Canada, CTV News Canada, M6 TV France, BBC World Service, and various random Finnish and Balkan radio and TV shows.
I've worked as a gardener in ROMANIA, begged in BULGARIA, exchanged dollars on the streets of UKRAINE, interned for the MONTREAL MAFIA, smuggled alcohol from BELARUS, and regularly participate in PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTS FOR CASH. I was recently fired as a door-to-door salesman. I'm looking to use my experience from the chocolate factory and BAKE CAKES TO SELL on the street. Incidentally, if you are interested in buying some of these cakes, please get in touch through the Contact/Feed Me page.
