Vilnius, Lithuania

The Alexander Nevsky cathedral in Tallinn

Booze cruise, casino, and stag capital of the Baltics - medieval Tallinn. It's about fifteen years ahead of Britain. I can't wait till we shake off our Soviet hangover

You could hang a rival nightclub owner from these branches

Spissky Hrad - Slovakia's largest castle

Football on the Slovak cricket field in Hajkse

A Slovak supermarket. The car is for sale, too

These two babushkas were reluctant to let me shoot them. They said, 'We are old and we have herpes.'

Slovak farmhouse

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Levoca old town

The Charles Bridge. To get a photo like this, without tourists, you might be interested to learn the bridge is available for hire, between 4 am and 8, for $10,000 US.

Prague's 1960s sci-fi-film underground.

Is yours bigger than mine?

Keep off my land, you Americans and Brits.

Prague's John Lennon Wall. Each night under Communism, the Czechs stole out and painted this wall, only for it to be changed back next day by the authorities. The Czechs say The Beatles saved their lives under the old system - much in the same way David Hasslehoff saved the East Germans.

Lake Bled, Slovenia

The Ljubljana fish market

Ljubljana's famous triple bridge

Romanian men discuss the first day at the Test

Brasov's old town square, Transylvania

An outdoor monastery painting near Suceava

Modern transport in Vulcan

Vlad the Impailer's birthtown, Sighisoara, Transylvania. His house is now a pizzeria.

Rasnov Castle, Transylvania

Radiation levels have fallen in recent years

Saxon Sighisoara

A very tall man in Heroes' Square, Budapest.

Statue Park in Budapest.

Lenin crowd surfin'

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Looking for a house in southern Ukraine? Property comes cheap in Kamianets-Podilsky

Tesco a la Chernivtsi

L'viv - home of Eurovision winners

A posh area of Kyiv

Spot the tourists. In Kyiv they're as fond of their gold domes as they are of their gold teeth

Don't ask me who this is. The city is L'viv.

Old town Kamianets-Podilsky

More Kamianets-Podilsky. Try saying that ten times with a shot of vodka in between each

Kamianets-Podilsky old town

University of Chrnivtsi. I recommend you do you year's exchange here. Employers look favourably on it

If you find yourself without a bed for the night in southern Ukraine, why not put yourself up in the Hotel Bukovina?

A Belarusian tourist coach on an emergency holiday to Ukraine

A gingerbread house in Gomel, Belarus' second largest city

Just swept by the ladies with the birch brooms...lovely Minsk

Mighty Gomel. If you can make it in and out of the country in 48 hours, why not give Gomel a try?

The Segovia aqueduct

Catching practice for the Bulgarian cricketers

Rila Monastery

Cheers, sport

Marvao from the chateau, looking into Spain.

Dubrovnik

The Neretva delta on the Dalmatian coast

Zadar old town

Zagreb old town

Bay of Kotor. It's like Glencoe with swimming and sunburn

Kotor Citadel

The Athabasca Glacier in the Rockies. It looks like a big ... crack

The psycic expo building, Old Montreal. That is not my car with a ticket

Last of the Mohicans country, where you can go whale watching. All I saw was an inch of a porpoise's pecker.

Montreal -a musical city

The hippie-hippie shake at Montreal's tam-tams

I have seen Jesus, and he lives on Montreal's Plateau

Medieval battling is a favourite Montreal pastime. Personally, I'd rather go to the pub

If you pee at the top, you can watch it trickle down in Ottawa

A Sarajevo peasant

Robert Kilroy-Silk sets up his souvenir shop in Medjugorje. He's hoping to win miracle votes among the millions of annual pilgrims

Jesus Christ

The entrance to pilgrim capital Medjugorje. No guns, but you may bring a tank

Another Sarajevo peasant on the assassination bridge

He may look French, but he's actually Bosnian

The restored Mostar bridge - a symbol of unity. The other one is a statue of Bruce Lee. It was the only thing all religions could agree upon

Coulter

The historic back garden, where my passion for cricket began

The mile avenue behind my old, haunted house in the Scottish Borders.

Oban

Tinto hill. On a clear day, it looks like a woman on her back, and the cairn on the top is her nipple.

Tobermory harbour, Isle of Mull

Tobermory, Isle of Mull

Candy in the fairy glen

Glencoe

Abbey of Iona

View from Oban

Man with a machete. Pay him a guinea and he'll do you a circumcision

De boat house in Soufrieres

Isle-sur-Tarn. There is a chocolate factory here, if you're interested

Le Chateau de Montagut in the Sud Aveyron

The Australian outback in the south of France

The Roman temple at Nimes